Religion: Election year “Christian”
Hobbies: Giving taxpayer money to friends; destroying U.S. economy; shrinkwrapping the U.S. military; vacations; golf; basketball; vacations; downsizing America; going after political enemies
Birth place: “To answer that with specificity, that’s above my pay grade. Not really sure; my birth certificate was doctored up.”
Favorite movie: The Ugly American
Favorite charity: Solyndra
Favorite book: Rules for Radicals, by Saul Alinsky
Worldview: “That, too, speaking again with specificity … that’s above my pay grade. But I’ll give it a shot, I’ll give it shot. Fair enough. I believe in socialism, and Lenin said the goal of socialism is communism. My grandfather was a communist symphathizer. My grandmother was a communist sympathizer. My mother was a communist sympathizer. My stepfather was a communist sympathizer. My father was a communist. My mentor Frank Marshall Davis was a Marxist. My colleagues and professors at HarvardLawSchool were Marxists. You can only conclude that my worldview is Marxist-Leninist.”
Editor’s Note: This is purely satire, so don’t email it around and claim the quotes are true; they’re not. However, this satirical profile does accurately capture President Obama’s heart and his loyalties. If he were to actually speak the truth, this would be it.